our story

The Birth of My Son - and Start of a Struggle

After giving birth exactly as I planned to (albeit about 20 hours longer than seemed the 'norm'!) I was exhausted, but so happy. We were living in a building site at the time, but the end was almost in sight and we now had our long wished for baby.

Within 2 weeks everything changed. We were in hospital and I began a journey of not being heard, not being helped, being fobbed off, being made to feel I wasn't coping as a first time mum and being told everything we were experiencing was normal.

The Symptoms No One Took Seriously

• My son cried unless feeding or asleep - always on me on my husband.
• Breastfeeding was agony. I had mastitis, pinched, bleeding and cracked nipples and feeds lasted forever.
• He was always sick, windy, bloated and constipated.
• He barely slept unless being held.
• He hated being on his back.
• Short car journeys took ages as I had to pull over so often and usually ended in tears for us both.

Everyone kept telling me this was all normal, but None of it seemed right, it just didn't FEEL right. 

I didn't think I had unrealistic expectations of what my baby would be like or what being a mum would feel like, but I was made to feel this way by people who were supposed to be there to support us. 

• "Just remember, babies do cry" - parting words from a doctor in the children's ward

• "Are you a first time mum?" - came out the mouth of every doctor we saw

• "It is normal for babies to be sick" - said by a paediatric consultant we paid £200 to see

We Tried Everything

We saw midwives, GPs, health visitors, Lactation Consultant, NHS and private Paediatric Consultants. I cut out so so many foods (wheat, oats, banana, dairy, tomatoes, garlic, onions, mushrooms, egg yolks, Quorn products - I'm veggie, so there was very little left for me to eat). We tried Gaviscon, Laxatives. Changed formula. Spent money. Lost sleep - so much sleep!

Still no answers - just more confusion and despair.

Weaning Didn't Fix It

At 6.5 months, I was so ready to start weaning. I'd been told over and over, “Once he’s on solids, the reflux will stop.”
I wanted to believe it. I needed something to work.

But it didn’t help.
If anything, things got worse. The sick now stained everything. He was still unsettled, still in discomfort, and still struggling to poo. I was massaging his belly, using suppositories, and comforting him every time he needed to go.

So many parents are told to wean early—sometimes as early as 4 months—by professionals they trust. But I would never recommend this, because if the root cause of reflux isn't addressed, adding food often just adds fuel to the fire.

Finding Hope - and Real Change

I don't know how many times I had Googled "why is my baby sick? What is reflux? Why won't my baby sleep? How to calm a baby? - the list goes on, but one night Google revealed to me such thing as an Infant Reflux Specialist existed - god knows why this took 10 months of Googling the same thing to appear! It finally felt like someone got it! Like there might actually be someone who gace a sh** and could genuinely help me and my baby. 

I read her book, had a 1:1 consultation with someone she had trained, did her weaning course, changed his formula. 

Within 2 days we had a different baby. 

Our Turning Point

Not long after, I started training to be a Baby Reflux Lady myself and it soon became apparent my son had a lip tie and tongue tie. I was so angry and upset. We were meant to be moving forward and it felt like we were stuck again, but this time I had an amazing mini female army with me, my fellow Baby Reflux Ladies in training. They listened, they understood, they cared. And I now had to knowledge to help my son. 

I was lucky that my husband trusted my judgement regarding our son implicitly. Without that trust and support I am not sure where I would be now. 

We Were Meant to Be Moving Forward ......

A big part of my journey—and my work today—is helping families navigate the world of tongue ties.

I never expected to be that parent. The one having to push, question, and advocate so fiercely. But when I suspected a tongue tie, it opened up a whole new layer of our reflux journey.

What followed was months of fighting to be heard, preparing my son with therapy, searching for a surgeon who could support us at 18 months old, and finally getting the go-ahead for the procedure.
It broke me. But I knew him. And I knew waiting wasn't the right option for our child.

The day of the procedure, I remember sitting on the train with him.It had been such a build up. I felt sick. Pretending to be calm while reading him a book, when all I wanted to do was cry.

Watching my son learn to use his tongue - seeing him stick it out for the first time,  without really knowing how he had done it, was so emotional for me. I was elated. 

My husband still laughs about it now, because whenever our son’s been a bit cheeky, he’ll stick his tongue out just to impress me—he knows it always makes me smile.  

From that day on, so much changed:
He began chewing without gagging.
His speech exploded.
He started copying sounds and wanting to speak real words.

So You Don't Have to Go Through What We Did

To get to where we are now has been a long, emotional, overwhelming battle, but we have made it out the other side. My marriage survived, our son is the loveliest, happiest little boy who is thriving and we can now all take a breath and enjoy each other. 

I have learnt so much because of what we have gone through and have just about made peace with it all now, but that doesn't mean anyone else should have to. 

I want to pass on what I have learnt so you don't have to experience even a little bit of what we did.